What could it be?

I regularly ask myself why there is nobody in the world like me. “Yes, but, Lien, every human being is unique, right?” Yea, I guess so, but that tired adage doesn’t help my train of thought much.

Being like me, how exactly do I define that? I feel like I am a number of different things, and that, firstly, people don’t understand how that is possible, and, secondly, that they have no idea what label to put on me.

That glazed-over look in their eyes, those brains being screened for something that they do know... those frowns in the forehead...

It’s a plethora of facets I struggle to match with each other sometimes, making me feel as if I dont really belong, no matter where I am, or that I am perhaps, at the very least, that odd one out. 

For instance, I spend most of my off-time with other travellers these days. You can put them in 2 categories: the ones who are on holiday and the ones who travel. The first category doesn’t understand that I leave a flourising business behind in Belgium for a long period of time (you can see them think: “My goodness, that is brave, I could never do that”). 

In the travellers category you mostly find people who are unable to settle at home. In other words, they are searching for something, or they are running away from something. Their lives just kind of carry on, without any type of plan or goal (unless it is a ‘I will change the world’ kind of goal).

You know that, right now, I am neither a traveller nor am I running away from something at home. Perhaps I’m searching for something? But what? 

And when I think about this, I feel even more like an alien. Yes, I would love a house on the beach, with some tropical fruit in the garden and some vegetables in the..... And yes, I believe that that is possible.

And besides that, do some business for a bit of money to do some extra stuff (like buying some nice clothes or a ticket to Europe or somewhere else in the world). The strange thing is that the world in which I would find myself then, would have so little to do with mine. Beaches full of travellers without a goal, keeping themselves busy with something temporary (like running a beach bar or being a diving instructor...).

I am neither a holiday maker nor a traveller. I am not an entrepreneur in the true sense of the word, but I am entrepreneurial.

I am not someone who wants to save the world, but I do love beach life and nature. I have no ambition, but I am not without purpose either. What then, am I in this world? 

Perhaps someone who does what others only dream about but never do? Perhaps someone who succeeds where others fail?

Perhaps someone who can not be categorised? Because as soon as you put me in a box, I will have jumped out again before you know it.

Perhaps I am just Lien De Pau. Unique in all my facets.


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